1Light Rain
Nothing has happened to you yet. In this state that does not mean never — it means not yet. You still see a doctor once a year, like a person.
CATEGORY ONE
Assessment 001 · Five designations · 18+
How Florida are you,and at what?
You are not graded overall. You are graded on a designation — Angler, Tracker, Brawler, Reveler or Snowbird — on a scale of Category 1 to Category 5. Answer honestly; nothing here costs you points. The follow-ups are where it gets hard.
Part One — The Assessment
Nothing here costs you points
Answer honestly. Everything earns. The separation happens on the follow-ups, which ask the kind of detail only somebody who actually did it would have.
FLORIDA GRADE — FIELD ASSESSMENTIN PROGRESS
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Category4
Hurricane
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What got you here
Book this next
Not made yet
Front patch and back print, on the shirt.
Make the shirt
Your shirt is already made: the patch you earned on the front, your designation’s own print on the back. Both are drawn by hand and checked before anything goes near a press. The back you landed on is the closest one to what you actually said — swap it for another in your set below, or take another designation and unlock four more.
Front patchThe one you earned — one of twenty-five
Back print
Drawn in the house style — heavy outlines, solid fills, no lettering
Everything in the library lands on the shirt instantly. Generate mine draws a back from your answers; Describe it draws one from your words. Either takes a few seconds and belongs to nobody else.
Put your name on the board
One field. No email, no password, nothing to confirm. Skip it and you still keep your result, your shirt and your saved run — the only thing you give up is the public listing.
The prompt behind this what your answers actually sent
Your shirt — back artworkpaste into Nano Banana
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Every fragment above was written by us and stored in a fixed list. Your answers chose which ones, and there is no text box anywhere in this — which is what keeps it safe to print.
Now check your standing in another one
Part Two — The Categories
Category 1 to 5, on the only scale this state respects
Everybody here already knows what a Cat 5 is, which is the entire reason it works. The ladder is not "how wild are you" — it is how much evidence is on your body, how much you have stopped noticing, and how far your improvising goes. The mark changes with you: at Category 1 the palm is upright and the house is fine, and by Category 5 there is a stump and one window frame.
1
2Squall
One good story, told well, at a party where nobody else was competing. Something has surprised you in the water. Nothing has left a mark.
CATEGORY TWO
3Tropical Storm
A scar, a warning, or a bill. Somebody who loves you has used the words. You have stopped noticing things other people notice immediately.
CATEGORY THREE
4Hurricane
You have explained yourself to somebody official and it did not go quickly. The evidence is physical and you kept it.
CATEGORY FOUR
5Direct Hit
You are the reason a business changed a policy, a sign, or a lock. You can no longer tell which parts were unusual. None of it felt like a decision at the time.
CATEGORY FIVE
Part Three — The Designation
A 3 overall feels mediocre. A Category 5 Angler does not.
So you are not graded overall. You are graded on one designation at a time — and then you can go and check your standing in the other four. Twenty-five possible results, and four more reasons to come back. One patch is shown per designation below, climbing Category 1 to Category 5 across the strip; every designation has all five.
The water has taken things from you and you went back in. You know what the plug is for, and you know what happens when it is not in.
Angler
You know what things are called and you have handled something with teeth. Something in your yard has required a decision.
Tracker
Your Florida happens on pavement and in public. Somebody has got out of a car because of you, and a business may have put up a sign.
Brawler
Not about how much you drank — everybody says yes to that. It is about the shoes, the wristband you cannot account for, and whose boat that actually was.
Reveler
Reachable at any age, and funnier the less you expect it. A thirty-four-year-old scoring Category 4 Snowbird is the best outcome this thing can produce.
Snowbird
Part Four — The Shirt
Every shirt is custom to your grade
It reveals at the end of the assessment. Here is your shirt. Want it?
The front is a credential
A small left-chest patch: your category, your designation, and the two pictograms that go with them. Twenty-five in total, and you wear the one you earned.
The back is your answers
Matched to what you actually said. The gator, the iguana, the golf cart, whichever chain you went deepest on — the print you get is the one that fits your run.
Retake to unlock more images
Every designation you take opens up its own set of back prints. Take one and you have four to choose from. Take all five and you have twenty.
Other ways to make it yours
You are not stuck with the pairing you land on. Swap the back print for another in your set, put the whole scale on it, or take the wordmark instead — and the front patch is yours to pick until the assessment decides it for you.
Part Five — Make It
Your shirt, matched to your answers
The patch on the front is one of twenty-five. The back comes from a library drawn for this — four prints per designation, and the one you are shown is the closest to what you actually said. You do not have to take the assessment to build a shirt, but it is what picks the patch and opens up your designation’s set.
Building your shirt…
Pick a patch and a back print below, or take the assessment and it fills itself in.
Step one — your result
Build one now
Pick any patch and any of the five back prints below
Take the assessment — 2 minutes
Step two — the artwork
Front patchThe one you earned — one of twenty-five
Back print
Drawn in the house style — heavy outlines, solid fills, no lettering
Step three — size
Step four — checkout
Part Six — The Standings
Everybody's on here somewhere
Graded per designation, so a name can appear five times with five different results. That is the point — a Category 5 Angler who is a Category 1 Snowbird is a more interesting person than someone with a single number.
FLORIDA GRADE — STANDINGS—